New Parenthood is Hard

Being a new mom is extremely hard. You’re still hormonal and now you have a little human you have to take care of. Your sleep schedule is messed up, every three hours you have to get up to nurse. You may be having trouble latching or getting baby to take the breast, so you have to use a bottle. You may be recovering from a c section while also taking care of a new baby, or you may have the baby still in the NICU or baby unit. You are tired, stressed, overwhelmed and the last thing you’re thinking of is taking care of yourself.

I know, I’ve been there. My oldest was a c section 3 months early due to severe Pre-Eclampsia. She was in the NICU for over 8 months and had multiple surgeries.

We were tired, scared and it took me days to see her because they couldn’t get my blood pressure under control. It was scary but I decided I wanted to find some way to give back.

When she was 16 months, we got pregnant again. This time, I had a folic acid deficiency and she died from Anencephaly. It took me a whole six weeks to recover from the c section because I was a depressed lump.

They wouldn’t tie my tubes and put me on prescription supplements. I got pregnant two years later and had a healthy, happy baby. She was big and perfect.

We now are raising an 11 year old with special needs and a healthy six year old. I had a strong support system through everything. My parents still play a very active role in my girls’ lives so I know the importance of having a strong support system.

Even if you have no support, a life coach specializing with working with new moms can be beneficial. A life coach helps you through the rocky roads of new motherhood. She can help you when you’re unsure if something is normal. She can talk to you when you’re needing someone to talk to and can help you take the steps you need to take to be the best new mom you are meant to be.

This course will take you through the lessons I have learned in my 11 years of being mommy.

Pregnancy is a scary time, filled with emotions and fears. A good parenting coach can help you work through those heavy emotions so you won’t waste money talking to your doctor unless it’s needed (now, psychosis or PPD requires a psychiatrist, certain symptoms require a doctor but going to the ER can cause you to actually get sick instead of fixed; especially if it’s a normal pregnancy symptom. On the other hand, they can tell you to do a home treatment when it’s actually something you need to see the doctor over.

I was pregnant with my second. I had wet pants so I called labor and delivery and they told me I peed. It wasn’t and by the time my appointment rolled around, I found out it was my water breaking. I was in active labor and didn’t know (no bad pain- it was like a moderate period cramp)

When you are pregnant, you need support. You need people to help you through the process. As a new mom, you need to have support in place to talk you through how to stay from losing yourself. This course covers everything from self care to keeping from losing yourself. It covers breastfeeding, when to see a doctor, long term pumping, NICU stays and how to handle hard to handle babies.

This is ongoing, so there will be much more added and there will be multiple courses in the school.

If you’re interested in visiting my Mom School, visit here. The beginning of Self Care is listed, these are all ongoing courses and the school is still new.

Keeping Sane During the Virus Pandemic

Most of us are stuck at home. When we do go out, it can feel a bit stressful.

Now that we are staying at home things may be starting to slow down.

Some people are looking to find the benefits of being stuck in the house all day and are trying to enjoy the “break” from the day to day life.

I’m one of those people who has that voice in the back of their head that always assures them things will work out. I’m always striving to see how I can make things work out well and am always looking for ways to improve my life.

Here are some tips for people to get through being stuck inside and unemployed without going crazy.

1. There is so much extra time- now you don’t have to commute and don’t spend 8 or more hours at work. It may seem like you’re doing more, but you should be able to look around and find extra time to spend doing something for you. It could be sneaking away to take a bath while your partner is home with the kids or after the kids go to bed. You could try to wake up a few minutes early to put on your coffee or tea and get a small workout or meditation in before the kids wake.

2. Take this time to quit eating out and learn to cook, if you can’t.

If you’re able to, turn on food network and start playing with the recipes.

Not only do you save money by not eating out, it’s healthier. Its more time consuming but kids can join in and it can turn into both an educational and fun family activity

3.If you’re working from home or laid off, try taking up a new hobby. If there is something you have been wanting to learn, do it.

There are YouTube tutorials for everything, if you want to learn to paint or learn to decorate cakes, now is a good time.

4. Just take time to sit down every night and be lazy. All those posts telling people to use this time for productivity is not for everyone.

The most important thing to do right now is take care of your mental health, especially those of us with mental illness of any kind. Starting a business or writing a book are great ideas- for those of us with interest, but self care is vital right now more than any form of being productive. Self care could be getting in bed earlier, sleeping in later or speaking off to take a bath.

My kids and I have spent several hours over the last couple days working on our garden. Gardening is a great way to relieve stress. I also turn to writing and have to have a creative outlet.

Right now may seem hopeless but if you look deep into your day, hopefully you can find at least a 5 minute window to do one small thing to care for yourself.

Tips to Get Better Sleep

It’s a common theme- getting too little sleep. People joke about living on coffee and we are all familiar with the groggy feelings on first waking up, the 2:00 crash and other problems that come from getting bad sleep or lacking sleep.

If you have no medical problems like Sleep Apnea, insomnia or other disorders, you should get enough sleep to wake feeling refreshed despite lack of caffeine.

If you feel like no matter how much sleep you get is never enough and medical testing has ruled out any medical option, here are some tips on getting better- real sleep.

Set a sleep routine. Try to create the same routine every night before you go to bed. It could be as simple as reading for a little bit before you turn in or it could be something more detailed. Whatever you decide, make sure you stick with it so your body will notice that you do it, then you sleep.
Try to go to bed at the same time and wake at the same time. It isn’t always easy. If you work shift work, retail, food service or any other area that involves an unstable schedule, you may try to get in bed by 10 every night but have random 11PM, midnight or even overnight shifts tossed in.
It has actually been found that shift work (different hours by the shift) is bad for employees’ health. In fact, there is a term for it “Shift Work Disorder” and it’s found to be linked to various medical conditions like obesity, heart disease and other related diseases.
Turn off your phone, TV, computer and other electronics an hour early. Do some gentle stretches, and unwind without electronic (blue light) interference. Same with bright, overhead lighting. Keep a gentle lamp turned on instead. Blue light from screens has been found to keep your brain awake and bright overhead lights also trick your brain into thinking it’s daylight instead of night. That’s good for morning but bad for bedtime.
Make some hot, decaffeinated tea- I personally use peppermint or earl grey. Pick a blend to help you relax and settle on your couch or bed with a good book.
Do some gentle stretches and read a good book right before bed.
Make sure to have an easy to follow routine you can do nightly. The routine will start triggering your brain to know when it’s going to be time to wind down.
Avoid caffeine after 12. A lot of people will go to 3, but I found it gives me insomnia unless I stop around noon.
Avoid nicotine before bed.
Avoid alcohol. It may make you “pass out” but it also has a bad affect on your REM sleep- which is the type of sleep you need to truly feel rested.
Try to only take 30 minute “power” naps instead of long naps and don’t nap too late in the day.

There are many other things you can do, but these are the tips I found best help me get full nights of sleep.

Anyone have any other tips they follow?

Book Review: The Year of Simple Living

The Year of Simple Living is written by Steph Parrell

She is the creator of ScaleitSimple.com. She wrote this book as a guide to living a more simple life over the course of one year.

The book starts off with the author listing the benefits beyond financial to living a more simple, back to nature lifestyle. She also goes into how her grandparents lived and how she started exploring their way of life a little more.

The concept of the book are working through 12 different areas in the span of 12 months. The challenge is to take the full month and do every part with an open mind, so I cannot tell you how much of an impact it has had already, I’m just getting started with month one but I will update over the course of the 12 months.

If you’re feeling stressed, frazzled and you’re wanting to live a less stressful, simpler and more natural life, this book is definitely worth the read. Remember, nothing happens literally overnight- so how this book is broken down month by month and all the aspects of your life are laid out, this makes it easier for beginners to the lifestyle to ease into the change.