Its time to break the taboo

Tw- child loss

Why is mentioning the child you lost so hard?

The feelings of guilt for saying “I have 2 daughters” instead of 3. But if I say “2 and an angel” the conversation ends immediately (unless she is also in this inclusive and deranged club)

Trying to brush it off and saying “I’m fine” when I realize it would be lil miss’s birthday and I’m out in public.

Lil Miss would be turning 7 in June.

The pain eases up over time, you live the life they would want. You have your amazing rainbow and suddenly, you start to see the children you do have more as amazing miracles.

You study the medical problems to such an extreme you suddenly realize we are all miracles to be born- so much can and does go wrong with pregnancies

1 in 4 lose babies, so why is it still so awkward to mention it?

It can be seen as a deeply personal thing, at the same time, its also as personal as the number of living kids running along side you at the store. The only difference is, 1 is with you in spirit while the others are there in person.

I wrote a while back for the website Pregnant Chicken, an article about the isolation of losing a baby and so many women related to it. It’s a taboo we need to break. Something that people should understand- the guilt of having to pretend that the baby never existed and the awkwardness of mentioning she did.

Mentioning the angel isn’t looking for sympathy, its showing pride in the beautiful baby who was taken too soon and acknowledging her shouldn’t lead to awkward silence, it should be seen the same as showing off the living kids.

Mentioning mine has educated several other women on the importance of folic acid and neural tube defects

Its also the main reason we do March for babies every year

I’d love to see a day when mentioning the baby that didn’t make it would be just the same as mentioning the ones who did. Where you don’t have to ignore the guilt when you tell someone the number of living kids you have and leave out “and an angel”

I would love to see the taboo lifted so that guilt could cease to exist.

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